A Vocation, Not a Vacation

The Merits of Home Stewardship

Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

Being a “stay-at-home wife” is no longer a socially accepted—let alone respected—vocation. Rather, this once-noble occupation has become the punchline of difficult PSET sessions when students want to imagine an “easy” life supposedly devoid of intellectualism. At Harvard, a place feverishly obsessed with worldly achievement, the idea of forgoing a full-time job or advanced degree is often dismissed as a waste of one’s precious education. In other words, home stewardship and motherhood, once pillars of societal respectability, have been unceremoniously bulldozed by the relentless march of the “working woman.”

Modern feminism does little justice to the perspectives of Harvard women–myself included–who cherish the prospect of motherhood; the vocation is inherent to womanhood. As the ones who bear and nurse children, women naturally assume the earliest caregiving role—which often extends seamlessly into the broader stewardship of the home.¹ This isn’t to suggest that working men cannot meaningfully contribute to family life–in fact, they must–but mothers often bring a unique relational intelligence and emotional depth to the table. Beyond this, the cultural continuity homemakers provide cannot be understated. Women have historically served as the keepers of tradition, passing down values, faith, and rituals that form the moral and cultural backbone of families, and thus our wider society. A home is more than a physical space; it is the first school, where children learn who they are and what they stand for. Women, at least those in the home, become the chief architects of this identity.

Then there’s the practical side. For many families, the decision is made based on financial realities—such as whose job brings in the higher income—but the ultimate goal should be a thoughtful division of labor. Such arrangements, far from regressive, are deeply liberating when viewed as deliberate choices grounded in reason rather than societal pressure. A woman’s decision to prioritize homemaking isn’t a step backward; in fact, it has become an act of defiance against the unremitting demands of modernity. It’s a choice that prioritizes family harmony and cultural preservation over modern materialism. Homemaking is a powerful, countercultural affirmation of what truly matters.

Advocates for dual-income households often cite finances as a reason for the alternative being unthinkable. On the contrary, the advantages of having a homemaker spouse can be viewed favorably from a utilitarian perspective. Homemakers contribute an estimated $178,201 annually in value, covering child care, cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring, laundry, and other essential tasks.² Still, society balks at treating homemaking as a legitimate profession—perhaps because it doesn’t come with a LinkedIn profile or a corner office.

The real issue is that we no longer value the synergy of a well-run household. Since the advent of third-wave feminism, women have been taught to view success exclusively through the lens of executive titles and financial independence. While there is nothing inherently wrong with ambition, this mindset pressures women into pursuing careers even when doing so might be counterproductive to their well-being—or that of their family. The result? Less domestic harmony, weaker bonds with children, and gnawing anxiety over who is going to fold the laundry. A household with a clear division of labor, on the other hand, runs like a Swiss watch, with each piece contributing to a precise whole.

Another element in society’s repugnance to homemaking is the patronizing belief that it requires no intelligence—because, of course, coordinating an entire household and raising children is so much simpler than, say, “girl bossing” your way through a corporate merger. This misconception has led women with degrees from elite institutions to dismiss homemaking as little more than a waste, without considering the immeasurable value it may lead to their perspective as a spouse, a parent, and a human. A stay-at-home wife and mother with a bachelor’s degree would be better equipped to take charge of her child’s intellectual development, manage her family’s finances with detail-oriented precision, and engage with local government and associations to advocate for her community and the things that shape her family’s daily life. While these aren’t functions that are performed in D.C. or Wall Street—stages so often preferred by Harvard graduates—they are nonetheless essential to the well-being of the family unit, the cornerstone of any stable nation—something even Harvard graduates are not immune to relying on.

Part of the problem also lies in popular media’s warped portrayal of stay-at-home wives and mothers—too often feeding into caricatures that stigmatize people against the vocation. Influencers, such as Nara Smith, who, with studied nonchalance, prance about in ridiculously expensive clothes whipping up absurdly elaborate meals on unrealistic budgets, perpetuate a fantastical picture of domestic life that is equal parts consumerist and preposterous. Meanwhile, the hardcore “trad wives” of Instagram, with their unabated homesteading and sepia-toned aesthetic, have gained millions of views by treating homemaking as a cosplay of the 19th century. These unrealistic depictions alienate reasonable women from the realities of homemaking while feeding into liberal cultural disdain for the role. The result is a complete disconnect from what being a stay-at-home wife and mother really means.

True homemaking is far less theatrical. It is grounded in humility and service to something greater, adapting to the needs of one’s family rather than adhering to some rigid template, outmoded stereotype, or modern caricature. It is a vocation that fosters intimacy, stability, and interpersonal connectedness within the home, providing a foundation for healthy child development and mutual support between spouses. While not everyone is called to make homemaking their profession, those who do deserve grace and respect—not ridicule. A Harvard degree may not be a prerequisite, but neither is it a disqualification. Indeed, perhaps one of the greatest things a Harvard graduate could do is build a home in a world obsessed with tearing them apart.

LAURA BASSI

A version of this article originally appeared in Wealth of Nations, the February 2025 print issue of the Salient.

1. Rajhans, Purva, Robin P Goin-Kochel, Lane Strathearn, and Sohye Kim. “It Takes Two! Exploring Sex Differences in Parenting Neurobiology and Behaviour.” Journal of neuroendocrinology, September 2019.

2. “A Day’s Work: The Financial Value of a Stay-at-Home Parent.” Meyer and Associates, August 16, 2022.